Power, glory, blood, sweat and tears

Hello everyone.

Well, I'm back again to write another blog after a short hiatus. Not of the hernia kind I am pleased to report, but of the not in front of a PC kind. I trust you are all enjoying the spring finally having sprung and the start of the barbecue season after yet another Bank Holiday weekend. Sadly, there's only one more Bank Holiday to come before Christmas.

So since I was last here, the Daily Telegraph has exposed the earth shattering news that not all of the 659 elected members of Parliament in this country are strong, upstanding citizens and that some of them have been fiddling their expenses. I can report that in next Tuesday's Telegraph, they will be running a world exclusive informing the nation that the world is round, pigs do not have wings, the Pope is a Catholic and that 30 per cent of Katie Price's body sets off airport metal detectors. It does beg the question though as to whether there is a niche market for start-up moat cleaning businesses in these times of financial uncertainty.

More on this nonsense later on. But first of all, even the non-football fans among the parish will know that there's a big match on tomorrow night.

1. All roads lead to Rome
So, tomorrow night is Champions League final night. This author's beloved Manchester United take on Barcelona in club football's blue riband event. The match promises to be a classic showdown between two teams with proud footballing principles, some of the finest footballers on the planet and plenty of goalscoring power. None of this guarantees a classic match, however, and the intangibles such as nerves and the pressure of the occasion could afflict the ability of the match to live up to pre-match expectations. Nonetheless, the occasion should ensure that even the most fairweather of football supporters will tune in to watch the theatre unfold.

As you will know, I will have a vested outcome in the match and although I love watching the Champions League final regardless of who is playing, when the team you support are involved in the final it is a mixture of unbridled joy but also that little bit of trepidation too. Joy that they have made the showpiece and have the chance to win the trophy, but trepidation that they have come so far but could fall at the last hurdle. After all, popular belief is that everybody remembers the winners but no-one remembers the runners-up. The philosophy is not far from the truth. This year though, the sense of anticipation is doubled because United have a chance to make some history by successfully defending the trophy, which if they accomplish, they would become the first team to win back-to-back Champions League finals since the format of the competition changed in the 1992/93 season.

United's success in the Champions League final last year was particularly sweet for me. Firstly, their victory in the final came against Chelsea and I count among my friends quite a few supporters of the Blues from SW6 and so it was good to exchange some friendly banter in the aftermath of United's penalty shoot out victory. Secondly, and from my personal standpoint, even more significantly, the only previous occasion that Manchester United had contested the final in my lifetime, back in 1999 when they defeated Bayern Munich with two goals in injury time to complete their unprecedented treble, I did not get the opportunity to watch the drama unfold.

This is one of those slightly embarrassing stories for me and which when I recount it to some of my friends, they think I must have been mad to foresake watching the final knowing what an ardent supporter of United I am and think that I should have disowned the other parties involved that prevented me from giving the match my undivided attention. But anyway, the story goes thus.

Back in 1999, I was coming towards the end of my second year at university and there were a couple of pieces of coursework that needed to be handed in at the end of that week. These were all of pieces of group coursework that I was working on with 3 or 4 other students. I recall that the three week Easter holidays that year were largely spent in the university library and so quite how this coursework had not got finished before then is something of a mystery. There was also the added difficulty that some people on the course were looking for a job to be doing in the third year which was spent in the workplace. Earlier on that day, I vividly recall going to a job interview with Family Assurance, whose offices are just up the road from the Odeon cinema in Brighton and in fact I remember one of the interview panel pulling my leg about the match saying that United would lose.

After the interview and after I had nipped home for some lunch, I had to find out where my group were and sure enough, they were convening around one of the group's house just down the road from where I now live, but which was over the other side of town back then. My hopes were that the assignments would just need a spot of tweaking and a couple of hundred words added and then everything could be put to bed in time for me to go down the pub and watch the match. Nothing could go wrong surely? Yeah right. What actually happened was that we spent an hour or so on the computer before one of our number decided he needed some fresh air and that fresh air would be achieved by taking an early walk to the pub for a quick pint. With the best will in the world, the man in question does not know the meaning of a quick pint and in the end, we probably spent a good couple of hours in the boozer before heading back to his place.

I remember that we must have got back to my mate's place around 6:00 pm, maybe just afterwards and we spent a solid hour to an hour and a half working on the assignment but there was still some dispute over trimming the assignment down. It will not surprise you to learn that yours truly had a fair chunk of his contribution to the assignment that needed to be left on the cutting room floor so as not to go over the word limit. We ordered pizza and sat and watched the match up to half time, a half which Bayern had the better of and they went into the break leading 1-0. Then when the whistle blew for half time, my friends headed back upstairs to the computer and that left me in the cusp of a dilemma. Do I stay and watch the rest of the match in somebody else's house and leave my friends to soldier on upstairs without my input, or do I make the big sacrifice of foregoing watching the second half to ensure that we get the blessed coursework finished?

The truth, my friends, is that I chose the second option although I confess that some of the reason for me following their lead wasn't my D'Artagnan one-for-all and all-for-one philosophy, but partly for reasons of cowardice. It seems strange to think it, especially given what Manchester United had achieved up to that point in that season, but I did not want to sit and witness us losing the game and the way the first half went, for one of the few times I can remember, I did not think we would get back in the match. Thankfully, the folly of my decision making was shown up and United ended up winning in such dramatic fashion. I have watched the finale to the match several times since but obviously it does not compare to the feelings I would have experienced if I had seen things unfold when they did.

I do recall looking at my watch at about 9:20 that evening when I was on typing duty on the computer and thinking that I would quite like to get up and go downstairs to see what the score was. I did get up and went down and with 10 minutes left, Bayern still led 1-0. I stayed watching the game for a couple of minutes but again I had this nagging feeling that it was not going to be United's night and so I walked back upstairs and continued typing. Not long after, I remember my friend whose house I was in going down to check the score. He had a vested interest in the final as he had bet a tenner on Bayern Munich winning the match 1-0. As things stood, he was quids in. What I should have taken into account was that the previous time he had bet on Manchester United to lose, he came very close to winning his money only to have it snatched from him right at the last.

Five weeks previously, Manchester United had played Arsenal in the FA Cup semi-final replay and my friend had stuck either £10 or £20, I cannot remember, on Arsenal winning the match 2-1 in normal time. As the match entered the 90th minute, the score was 1-1 and with United down to 10 men, Arsenal were pressing for a winner and they seemed to be on the verge of a date at Wembley when Manchester United conceded a penalty in the last minute of normal time. Arsenal's brilliant playmaker Dennis Bergkamp stepped forward to take the penalty and surely a player of his quality and coolness under pressure would not pass up the opportunity. Images of my friend kissing his winnings flashed through my mind as Bergkamp stepped up. And then, it did not go to script. Peter Schmeichel saved the penalty and against the odds, Ryan Giggs scored a wonder goal in extra time to give United the victory. And my friend's winnings went up in smoke.

The knowledge that the contents of my friend's wallet were going on United to lose should have consoled me that things would work out in our favour, but in the end I missed the key moments that saw United turn a 1-0 deficit into a 2-1 victory and instead I had to make do with my friend's miserable facial expression when he returned to the room after the match finished. "They've won 2-1" he said in the tone of someone telling you that your cat had been run over. That was one consolation I could take from the night, that facial expression will stay with me forever. We also did get the assignment finished that night and drinks were consumed into the small hours to celebrate this achievement, as well as United's, even if my friend's drink probably tasted a little flat.

So with all this in mind, I eagerly wanted United to make it to another final so that I could enjoy the occasion and finally be able to say I had seen them properly play in the Champions League final. It would take another nine years for United to get to the final again, but last season's final against Chelsea was a fantastic night, although the margins between success and failure and happiness and sadness in football was demonstrated in microcosm on the night. John Terry's banana skin feet which saw the ball hit the post rather than the back of the net turned out to swing the pendulum in United's favour and away from Chelsea's grasp. The match was one kick away from turning my evening into a wake, but in the end, it turned out to be party time.

So to tomorrow night. I would say that I am quietly confident of United's prospects, but although Barcelona will have key players missing, they have such a number of match-winners at their disposal, that they must not be under-estimated. This is a team that have scored over 100 goals in their 38 game domestic league campaign. To demonstrate just what an extraordinary haul that is, by contrast, Manchester United needed to score only 68 goals in retaining the Premier League crown over the same number of matches.

The match has been billed as a straight battle between the world's two best players in Lionel Messi of Barcelona and Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United. Fantastic players they both are too. However, it is too simplistic to think that a match of this magnitude will just be decided by two players. United have a strong team and squad and it is likely that there will be heartbreak for someone in their squad who will not even make the substitutes' bench. The performances of United's back four and goalkeeper and also the battle in midfield will be key to determining the match.

Barcelona will be missing key personnel in defence with three of their defensive mainstays, Eric Abidal, Carles Puyol and Daniel Alves all being suspended as a result of indiscretions in their semi-final away goals win over Chelsea, although Abidal's red card that keeps him out of the final was a gross miscarriage of justice. There are also possible doubts over the participation of Andres Iniesta, who scored Barca's late equaliser at Stamford Bridge and Thierry Henry, who United will remember well from his glory days at Arsenal. From United's side, Darren Fletcher will be suspended for the final after his unjust red card in the semi-final although his absence will still mean United have a surfeit of players to fit into three midfield positions. Sir Alex Ferguson will be more concerned by Rio Ferdinand's fitness, particularly as he did not feature against Hull on Sunday, having said he would need to play in that match to stand a chance of selection against Barcelona. If Ferdinand does not make it, the relatively inexperienced Jonny Evans will take his place.

On paper, the match looks like it has the potential to be an open, attacking spectacle and the attacking philosophies of both teams suggest that neither team will be backward in coming forward. As said at the top, however, European finals rarely result in open, high scoring fare. Liverpool's 3-3 draw with Milan in 2005 is a rare exception, although in that match, Liverpool's comeback came from them having to throw the kitchen sink at Milan, trailing as they did 3-0 after 45 minutes.

For United to prevail, they need to try and play the game at their preferred tempo rather than see the game slowed down to favour Barcelona's considered possession play. There will be a temptation for United to load their front line with pace and possibly go with near enough the same players that tore Arsenal apart in the 2nd leg of the semi-final and so that would mean Cristiano Ronaldo playing up front, Wayne Rooney playing on the left and Carlos Tevez and Dimitar Berbatov remaining on the bench. I think that the idea behind this strategy is a smart one, but I think a player of Berbatov's subtlety and craft will have a role to play at some point in the final.

I am not going to tempt providence by offering a prediction on this match. Last season's semi-final between the two sides saw United prevail 1-0 on aggregate despite an edgy second leg at Old Trafford where Barcelona came close to scoring a precious away goal. Both teams are not short of match winners, but in finals sometimes the hero turns out to be someone you least expect. Wes Brown crossed for Ronaldo to score in the final a year ago and in this year's semi-final, United's first leg win over Arsenal was secured by their stand-in right back John O'Shea. I hope the game lives up to expectations, but above all, I hope at 9:30 tomorrow night that I will be toasting a United victory.

2. The danger of protest voting
Well, you would have needed to have been on Mars for the past fortnight to have not heard of the extent to which the reputation of MPs have been dragged into the gutter over the catalogue of expenses misuses which a number of our elected representatives have perpetrated. In a normal week, any of the stories that the Telegraph have brought to light would have been headline news in isolation, but the Telegraph has almost printed an anthology of misdemeanours and even now, the wrongdoing that has occurred seems to be showing no signs of abating.

There are a few things to be said here. First and foremost, surely this whole embarrassing episode is the biggest argument against self-regulation that you will ever find. You will have heard the MPs constantly complain in the aftermath of the expose that the fault did not lie with them, but in instead lay with the system. There was no mention that it was these very same MPs who voted for the system and who had responsibility for its policing. So in essence, the system that failed was their doing. What they were really saying was, "it's a pity you found out".

The next thing to say is that the expenses process in Government should be the same as it is in any workplace. That being that you can only claim on legitimate and essential work related items and not on any items that were expended whilst not on company business or which have no relevance or benefit to the job. The new policy introduced on this is a step in the right direction, but it is still not watertight enough. Quite how having a moat cleaned, having two toilet seats replaced or having twenty-five light bulbs changed by a professional electrician can be seen as work related items is a mystery that only messrs Hogg, Prescott and Willetts respectively can answer. At least in the case of Chris Huhne, he could argue that the £120 he spent on a trouser press would ensure that he would present a smart appearance in the Commons.

In my job, I can claim on work related travel, refreshments for the workplace and overnight accommodation if my journey would require setting off before 6:00 am on the morning of the day that I need to reach the destination. And that is pretty much the extent of what I can claim for. That is also what it should be for MPs, but you get the impression that there are those who feel that because they are reputedly serving for the greater good of the country and for their consituents, they are in some way entitled to a free meal ticket and having a butler provided at the taxpayer's expense.

What the expenses controversies has highlighted above anything else is that rumours of the death of the class system have been greatly exaggerated. You have had Tories claiming on moats, duck ponds and electronic gates at their mansions and stately homes. Meanwhile, the champagne Socialists among the Labour Party have claimed on posh furnishings, lampshades and dry rot repair. Incidentally, I hear that Esther Rantzen will be standing for election in the Luton South constituency against Margaret Moran. I imagine Ms Rantzen's manifesto will be the only thing toothless about her.

Because of the current disdain for MPs, there appears to be a groundswell of disdain towards our elected members and consequently there are calls for an election to be called immediately and there are plenty of independent moralists such as Rantzen and the sanctimonious, permanently white suited Martin Bell who have come out of the woodwork to put themselves forward as credible alternatives. Strangely, Bell had not been seen publicly for quite some time until this controversy broke, yet now he has surged to the top of the minor celebrity ubiquity league, a position that Myleene Klass presumably felt was hers for keeps at least until some time in 2014.

I am not saying it is wrong for good, upstanding citizens to throw their hats into the ring as possible independent candidates, provided they are doing it for the right reasons and are not doing it as part of some ego trip, which unfortunately I believe that both Martin Bell and Esther Rantzen are doing. If people are going to put themselves forward for election, they need to have a range of policies that make them stand out from the crowd, rather than just standing up for one relatively hollow policy, namely that there should be no sleaze in politics. Of course, in an ideal world it is thoroughly commendable that there should not be any corruption or misuse of power, but just as there is a common held belief that world poverty is bad and that disease needs to be cured, it does not make it any easier to achieve. No man is an island I believe the pub sign once said.

What would concern me if there was a snap election held within six weeks or indeed in the autumn this year is that the biggest beneficiaries would be the protest parties. Good thing, I hear you say. That will teach the main parties that they can't take us for granted I expect you will add. Well, maybe. But it will come at a cost because the main protest parties likely to gain some support at a time when confidence in Government and in the main opposition is at a very low ebb will be the British National Party and UK Independence Party. This cannot be good news in any shape or form.

The BNP have changed the way they deliver their message over the years but the actual message remains the same as it always was, however much they try to filter the poison it contains. Their idea of an ideal Britain is a Britain that doesn't evolve and which does not contain foreigners or any immigrant population and where the only thing that is cosmopolitan can be found on the magazine shelf in WH Smith. Their very mantra is British jobs for British people and their message will appeal to down on their luck, structurally unemployed people living in industrialised parts of the country who feel that the world owes them a living. As if that wasn't bad enough, the BNP has recently introduced a new youth wing of the party that is going to encourage people to be good citizens and teach them "nationalistic principles". Sadly, I can't confirm whether this new wing is called the Hitler Youth or whether the nationalistic principles include being able to recite "No Surrender to the IRA" verbatim, but I suppose neither possibility can be ruled out.

Far right protest voting has been seen to increase at times of crisis before and especially in countries with a complex immigration population. In France, a country that is not far behind the UK in the insularity stakes at times, just in recent years the far right party led by Jean-Marie La Pen has enjoyed an increase in popularity and I gather it has been the third largest party in France. France is a country with a significant population of Afro-Caribbeans who are first or second generation immigrants from some of France's current and former colonies in Africa and the West Indies and as such there are some less forward thinking natives who feel that they should not share the Tricolore with these "Johnny Come Latelys".

Of course, more people from foreign shores are living and working in the UK as a result of the freedom of movement of labour that is allowed across European Union state borders as a result of the Maastricht Treaty. This imposition on British law is one reason why a good number of the protest voters would like to see the UK withdraw from the European Union and no doubt would like to see the UK return to conquering the world all by itself, trading with whoever it pleases and turning the atlas into a flurry of pink again. Yet, we need to remind ourselves that we are in 2009 now, not 1909. Freedom of movement is a two way thing. As much as we may resent people coming here to better themselves and seek self-improvement and sample a different culture, why are we not receptive to going abroad ourselves in search of work and seeing how the other half live. If you can't beat them, join them. I guess it is the old story of always wanting the easy life.

The opportunists among the protest parties are really trying to tap into the sea of self-pity that they see in this country at the moment as a result of a Government that has been in power for possibly three years too long and due to there being a lack of credible and scrupulous opposition. I notice today that David Cameron has announced his bold plans of getting the public to trust politicians again and they include updating people via text about any news on bills that have been passed that affect them. Another example of the Conservatives coming up with empty gimmick gestures, it would seem. I mean, it is bad enough having to delete drunken texts that we receive from some of our less well constituted friends, but now we might have to put up with spam from the Tories telling us that the bill to reintroduce fox-hunting has been approved. No-one surely is sufficiently interested.

The upcoming European elections will serve as an interesting trial for what lies ahead with the General Election which must be held within the next year. I would imagine that turnout for the elections will be pretty low and so this will be further good news for the protest parties who are bound to attract a certain niche percentage of the vote. My hope, however, is that the likes of the BNP and UKIP do not gain a sufficient amount of the vote to exercise any power, but that with the slice of the vote they do get, the main political parties see the danger that is presented if the public are not convinced that they can get their act together.

When it comes to the election next year, I expect the Conservatives to be overwhelming favourites to get elected, but in some ways I think it would be no bad thing if there was no overall majority and we ended up with a hung parliament. None of the main parties at the moment are outstanding and at least if you had a no overall majority Government, you would hopefully get the cream of the crop from each of the main parties elected to a position in which they have particular competence. Coalition Government has not been altogether successful in Italy, but I think that is partly due to the volatile nature of their electorate allied with having certain politicians there whose morals make many of our sinning MPs seem like Cliff Richard by comparison. I would not want to see an election every eight months, but there does need to be a change from just leaving the decision on when an election takes place to the Prime Minister of the day. This loads the dice in the Government of the day's favour, regardless of whether it is serving the greater interest of the country and its electorate.

Politics and politicians are currently in the doghouse so far as many people across the country are concerned, and they only have themselves to blame for the current low perception that people have of them. We should be mindful, however, that not every MP is a bad apple and there are those who do a great job in serving the interest of their constituents and who would never take advantages of loopholes around expenses. It is just that these MPs do not court publicity and so their good work is not highlighted. For those that have given their profession a bad name, then repercussions need to be served out and wherever fraudulent activity has occurred, particularly with mortgages on second homes, then criminal proceedings should be brought where there are proven transgressions. That would be a good start in getting the public onside again, although I think in Hazel Blears's case, only a public hanging will suffice. Let's face it, her crime isn't so much that she is slippery, but that she is slippery, scary looking and ginger and has the personality of a jellyfish. And let's face it, she has gone and ticked the boxes on most things that riles a typical Brit there!


That's my lot for tonight. I'll be back at the weekend for a bit more football chat concerning depressed Magpies and a couple of other general bits and pieces. Arrivederci for now.